10. Opponent spits out a tooth, you put it under your pillow.
9. A brawl breaks out and they find you hiding under the net.
8. Your anguished cries of "I'm a bleeder!"
7. You get pushed and launch into the death scene from "Swan Lake".
6. The "uncle" flashcard you've got in your pants.
5. Your helmet is adorned with delicately hand-painted flowers.
4. Lady Byng could take you in a fair fight.
3. While the other guys put their false teeth in a bucket, you put in your charm bracelet.
2. The last time you were in a fight, your sister got grounded.
And the number one sign you're not a fighter:
1. When a guy screams, "Drop `em," you start unbuckling your belt