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Watch What You Say

There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the supermarket. A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man insisted he only needed half a head. The boy agreed to ask his manager about the matter.

The boy walked into the back room and said, "Hey, boss, there' some asshole out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce." Suddenly, the boy turns to find the man standing right behind him. He quickly added, "And this gentleman wants to buy the other half."

The manager okayed the deal and the man went on his way. Later, the manager called on the boy and said, "You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier. I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of trouble. You think on your feet and we like that around here."

The manager continued, "Where are you from son?"

The boy replied, "Canada sir".

"Oh, really? Why did you leave Canada?" asked the manager.

"They're all just whores and hockey players up there!" said the boy.

"My wife is from Canada!" exclaimed the manager.

"Oh, really!" said the boy. "What team did she play for?"