10. Opponent spits out a tooth, you put it under your pillow.

9. A brawl breaks out and they find you hiding under the net.

8. Your anguished cries of "I'm a bleeder!"

7. You get pushed and launch into the death scene from "Swan Lake".

6. The "uncle" flashcard you've got in your pants.

5. Your helmet is adorned with delicately hand-painted flowers.

4. Lady Byng could take you in a fair fight.

3. While the other guys put their false teeth in a bucket, you put in your charm bracelet.

2. The last time you were in a fight, your sister got grounded.

And the number one sign you're not a fighter:

1. When a guy screams, "Drop `em," you start unbuckling your belt